Pill Popping
by vegemite
Summary: This pain is jealousy. It isn't justified or rational. He threw this thing away, someone else picked it up, and now he wants it back. [House POV, some time in second season, prob. AU now]


**Title:** Pill Popping

**Author:** vegemite

**Rating: **PG

**Summary: **This pain is jealousy. It isn't justified or rational. he threw this thing away, someone else picked it up, and now he wants it back. House POV, some time in second season

**Disclaimer: **I don't own. Nope. Never will, probably. Although if I'm lucky, I'll own the DVDs.

* * *

He pops a pill.

He can't remember if it's the twenty-first or the twenty-second, but he'll assume it's the latter so he can take another and land on a prime number. But first he swallows, and the Vicodin scratches his throat on the way down. He's found he needs this dry swallow sensation. That and he doesn't want to bother with a glass of water every time. He'll get bloated and, oh darn, those pants that make his butt look so great just won't fit anymore.

The pain starts to fade. Glorious things, drugs. In some small way, he's glad that he can experience this pain, because it reminds him that some hurt can be treated. And for once, he's not talking about Stacy. He's sick of Stacy, he can't be bothered with Stacy. She's become a nuisance, and he can't fathom why he ever thought he was in love with her.

This pain is jealousy. It isn't justified or rational. He threw this thing away, someone else picked it up, and now he wants it back. Typical human behavior.

It annoys him that he's human. It means that he falls under the category of "everyone," and he'd like to think he's smarter than that. And then again, he wishes he were more human, because in so many ways he's one of the living dead in those zombie movies. But he can't change who he is, or, at least, he's too lazy to try.

He swallows another pill, just for good measure, and to achieve that oh-so-nice prime number. He's tried it before and knows it doesn't work, but he still hopes that maybe if he sends himself far enough over the edge he can cure his mental pain. He never lets himself become aware of this, but he knows deep down that if he had to choose between the mental and physical pain, he'd choose the physical any day.

He starts humming, "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus," only instead of Mommy it's Cameron and instead of Santa it's Dr. Chase. He thinks maybe it'll give the situation a humorous glow, but it doesn't.

What he truly can't believe is that they did it at work. The blinds in the conference room were closed, which he thought odd. He entered through his office, because from there he can part the blinds and see what he's getting himself into. He can't handle Cameron crying over dead babies and the like again. Besides, it wasn't like it was a Peeping Tom situation or anything. Though, would anyone be stunned if he was one?

Chase was there. That surprised him, because Chase never does anything unnecessarily above-and-beyond. Cameron was there too, and he thought nothing of it, because she always does everything unnecessarily above-and-beyond.

Cameron got up from the computer to get coffee. He was about to barge in and demand they both get some sleep, but they were smiling too much. Something was up. He observed for a few more seconds and Chase rose from the table, Cameron's eyes on the young doctor the entire time. Chase smiled, and she shook her head, the same smile playing on her lips. The next moment those lips were beneath his. The intensivist's hands rested on the immunologist's hips as they leaned against the counter.

He was in shock. He couldn't look and, surprisingly, he didn't want to go in there and embarrass them to no end like he usually would have. So he sat at his desk, the silence drenching him, staring at the letters on his door that look backwards from the inside of the office.

He doesn't know how much later it was that Chase left and then, shortly after him, Cameron. She looked in his office as she passed, rolling her eyes at what she probably supposed was his insomnia. He just glared at her.

Now he's here, alone, with his bottle of lovely pills. Pills that can take the physical pain, but not the mental. And somehow, telling himself that it's all in his head doesn't quite work. Because now he wants her. He's realized she no longer wants him, and that makes him want her.

But you can't always get what you want.

So he tries to drown, for what he's sure won't be the last time.

He pops a pill.

* * *

SPOILERS! So yeah. I got this idea because there's supposed to be some Chameron this season, and I wanted to do what House would think about it. I don't think House really feels anything for Cameron, he'd just be jealous if Chase grabbed her and she forgot about him. /SPOILERS!

Please review! 


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